Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Ooo....WATER! Scary stuff!


Hmm, help me please understand this one:
OK, so there is a woman in California who just died because she had 'aqua over-hydration'. OK, I made that up, seriously she drank too much water and died. Let me back up and say if this was a friend of mine or a family member, obviously I would be really sad and etc...and I'm sorry for their loss...yadda yadda yadda... -insert politically correct stuff here- and all that. But aside from that...what the heck!?!

I was thinking that I had heard of this before, but in my mind I remember thinking that someone would have to drink like 100 gallons or something and it would be nearly impossible. One of those things that COULD happen but doesn't-because nature would make it's call long before and that would be it. All better.

It turns out this 28 year old woman was drinking water and not voiding her bladder (kewl doctor's-way of saying it eh? ) and she consumed over 2 gallons of water (or 32 8-oz glasses of water). AND THAT KILLS! Holy shit.

So lemme tell ya a little story about the "Century Club" of 1997 (ish) I was living in a college town about 2 hours from where I live now at the ripe age of 20. What do you do when you're 20 years old in a college town and you don't have to work, you might ask? DRINK! (Actually, even if you do have to work--you drink!) So my, who would later be, roommate Mark-his girlfriend-her roommates-some people we didn't know-a few from down the hall-someone's half sister's second cousin half-removed and about 10 other people all decided we would do 'the club' at about 3pm in the afternoon.

So the way 'the club' works is simple. Rather than me explain, follow the jump and check out the third item under "Rules". Well, we didn't allow this one. So afte rit was all said and done-of the 15 or so people that started our Century Club only 3 people finished! Me, Mark and one of his roommates. Everyone else either quit, threw up (disqualified), or -gross to say- pissed themselves. I drank a total of 16 beers in 100 minutes without going to the bathroom...safe? I think not. Necessary at 20 years old?...absolutley!

So in the end I had 1.5 gallons of beer in a very short amount of time and didn't pee. By the way I DID pass out and wake up about 3 hours later like nothing happpened---bizzare! Anyway-This woman in California drank 32 more ounces than that-but it was WATER! I think that's utterly (wait-that would be milk) CRAZY!

So ANYWAY the DJ's got fired along with 7 other employees because this woman died. Ya know what is sad? That they fired these DJ's for a PR move---to save face at the station. That would be a whole other post, but honestly this was a 28 year old woman in charge of making her own decisons-which she did and she died. The DJ's, in my opinion, weren't negligent or misleading in any way. I'm sure the argument will come down that the station and it's employees failed to inform her on the risks etc...BULLSHIT.

It's sad to me that in this country, we don't actually have to have personal responsibility anymore-we can just blame the evil corporations of America. Put it in the same file with the clowns that sue McDonalds for making them fat-or the people that sue amusement parks when the 200,000 pounds of man-made steel in a roller coaster-that sits out 24/7 for years has a bolt come loose and someone gets hurt. We take risks everyday of our lives in everything we do....

Stop suing companies and stay out of the water if you can't swim with the sharks...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

So wrong....but SO funny!

Seriously, Youtube is FULL of mostly crap...or maybe that's just what I stumble upon. HOWEVER, this video is so funny...SO politically incorrect but you can't watch it without laughing! Enjoy!

Gypsies, Tramps and Lawyers


Well, update for today anyway...the entire matter has been turned over to our legal department since she threatened to sue for "defamation of character" and said she is "taking it to the media".

Apparently our customer service department offered her a $15 gift card (5 times the value of her purchase) and their apologies. She said that was an insult and a slap in the face and she wants more money than that AND a written apology from the store manager (me) and one from my shift manager.

Guess what's NEVER gonna happen? 110% guaranteed that I will not/would not/COULD not apologize for something that I didn't do. Nope!

We tend to be one of the most hated/loved companies in the world so I'm sure we have good attorneys.

What's funny was, today my boss stopped in because he HAD to (his job) ask if I, in fact, did call her a "FUCKING BITCH"...which he whispered-but it was funny as hell listening to him say it. Of course I never used that language or anything close to it-so we both laughed and commented how crazy this lady must be.

More to come I'm sure...

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Some high heels on this thing and she's important!


Well, it's official 2007 has started off with me saying-ONCE AGAIN- "dammit, I hate retail!!" You want to know why? No? Well who cares I'm talking-it's my blog.

I don't hate retail for the obvious reasons: the shitty hours, the standing on my feet for 40+ hours a week, the have to find time to take a piss in a the 32 seconds when someone helpless doesn't need something, the going into work when there' s a crazy-ass (one of my favorite descriptive phases) snowstorm-and the roads are buried- and anyone sane is still at home all snuggled in bed WAITING for the snow plows to do their work. It' s not because of any of those things-in fact that's why I like it, always a challenge.

It IS because one stupid douche bag customer who THINKS she's more important than everyone else ruins 'it' (my day and my happy existance) in a split second. I'll elaborate because I know I got ya now...

Sunday, I'm working... like I do every other Sunday...doing my thing, making sure shit is going smoothly. I'm thinking fairly happy thoughts. It was my sister's birthday and I knew I'd call her when I got home from work and wish her a happy birthday and find out if she opened the gift I sent. Also, Scott and I always spend Sunday nights together at home---a nice dinner, some wine, a little conversation (I just thought of Elvis for some reason) ANYWAY---just how it should be. It's just about noon 'o clock (remember it's MY blog) and I'm assisting one of my employees when I hear a woman loudly correcting him. NaturallyI step closer to see what the problem was.
"YOU people never do anything right here, I'M TIRED OF IT! Everytime I come in here YOU people mess my order up. What is wrong with you?!? Don't you know it has..."
She proceeds to verbally assult (is the term I'm using for it) one of my employees for making her order 'wrong". I step in to investigate and find that he's doing everything to standard and she's just wrong in either what she ordered or how she thinks something should be made. Our policy is to make our customers happy so I start to TRY to do that and she starts yelling at me!
"Who are YOU? The manager? Well, LET. ME. TELL. YOU. SOMETHING...I'm not trying to be SNOTTY but you need to train these people-they aren't even competent in their jobs!"
Ok, so by this point she's pissing me off...but my training tells me....be nice, all she wants is someone to vent to. When she gets what she's mad about off her chest I can see how I can make this better for her and everything will be all happy again. Sometimes I am SO wrong.

I wait for her to finish, I try to get a word in by asking her how I can make this situation better for her---she wants nothing from me and just continues to point her finger at me and tell me how horrible this store is. She then begins to walk away and stares into my eyes and says,
"I guarantee you, I will be talking to YOU tomorrow." (Douche bag storms out.)
What the fuck crazy lady?...talk to me now!! So I'm worked up, my employee who was yelled at is upset, a group of customers is standing by with their mouths wide open in disbelief, and my saga continues.

Any time someone is that nasty we have to call it in to or customer service center in Seattle and give them word-for-word account of what hapened, how we tried to help, why we couldn't resolve the issue, and if the customer needs further assistance. I give a detailed account of what happened to the gal on the phone and we conclude. Meanwhile I went back to my daily operations and make sure my employees all know they handled it the best they could and sometimes we just can't make someone happy. End of story, right?

OH, no! So Monday I emailed my boss and told him about the situation. He reiderated how important it was to go back to the employees involved and make sure they know I support them...I did and I thought it was over.

TODAY (Tuesday) at 8am I walk in and it turns out this lady is now at one of our locations across town raising hell-and luckily the one she's harassing there was at my store Sunday afternoon and heard all about Miss Crazy Douche. So he asks what he should do and I told him give her the 1-800 customer service line and tell her you're sorry we were unable to help her. He did and that's the last I hear of it and I leave for my 9am meeting about 25 mintues away. My meeting ended at 1pm and I had a voicemail from one of my shift leads...she's very upset and obviously shaken. Upon returning the call I find out that the woman (lets call her "douchey") called today to talk to me and when my shift lead told her I was unavailable, "douchey" demanded that she give my phone and my boss' phone number to her. Of course (thank you B.B.) she did not give our numbers out which made the woman very angry so she lets the threats fly:
"I will have YOUR job and your MANAGER's job by the end of the week. I recorded this whole conversation and the conversation on Sunday and I don't appreciate being called a FUCKING BITCH!"

Oh yeah...she did...."douchey"actually is now accusing me of calling her a fucking bitch! Now, I know she IS one and most of my employees know she is and I'm quite sure her family, her coworkers, her mailman, her hair dresser, her lip waxer, her shrink, her pastor, her grade school teachers and basically anyone ever in contact with her--I'm sure they all know she's a f-ing bitch but I've been in retail and dealing with the public a long time and I've NEVER called anyone ANYTHING like that!

I'm not real worried about it because-well, she's a liar- and I tried to help her but she wasn't interested.

I called this evening to get an update on the case and they informed me that she has called the customer service line twice today to tell them how horrible I was and how I called her the f-bomb. All I can say is WHATEVER DOUCHEY..bring it on!

And this is why I just may hate retail till next year again. Who knows-it's only January. :)

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

Take a poll...humor me...!

Who Killed the Electric Car trailer

I think this is an interesting short on a topic we're sure to hear more of when we go boot dumba..er Bush out of office.

My Blog Birth and 100 Things...


Here I am! Welcome to my first blog entry! Read the following to learn a little bit about me! Make coments if you like and enjoy! More to come! -Andrew

Bored? ((Over 100 questions))
[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? :::Andrew
Birthplace :::Edmonds, WA
Age :::29...for another 109 days AND nights.
Age you act :::Sometimes 12...sometimes 62...always legal.
Current location :::Family room, My house, Marion, IA
Eye color :::Brown
Hair color :::Brown
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :::Righty
Zodiac sign? :::Taurus
Height? :::5'11''
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality :::Nova Scotian/S. American/Mutt
Your hair :::Has a few greys
Your fears :::Sleeping in a car moving too fast.
Your perfect room :::Bedroom with candles, a book, & Scott
What you practically do in a day :::What? If it takes MORE than a day I'm worried.
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse :::Crazy! or Retarded!
Phrases you overuse :::Suprised you didn't know that!
Your first thought when you wake up :::Coffee...Food!
Your greatest accomplishment :::Being so incredibly smart. :)
Something you want to do :::Have a big new house and a maid.
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke :::Dt. Pepsi by itself/Dt. Coke in my cocktails
McDonald's or Burger Kings :::Mickey D's
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :::Both at the same time. Kidding..gross!
Chocolate or vanilla :::DOUBLE chocolate
Adidas or Nike :::Skechers (my feet are wide)
Black or white :::Black
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :::Bills-but I save coins.
Burgers or hot dogs :::Brats
Egypt or France :::France, I did take 5 years of French.
Rock or rap :::Rock or Hip Hop
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke :::Not anymore
Cuss :::Often, especially in the car
Sing well :::Yes, and my car has awesome acoustics.
Sing in the shower :::No, but only because there's no radio in there
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :::No, the dog is always around---can pretend I'm talking to him.
Believe in yourself :::Usually
Like taking these longass surveys? :::Yes, but it's harder than I thought
Play an instrument :::Think clean thoughts... No
Want to go to college? :::Already did...but need to finish
Want to get married? :::Only if it's legalized and then I'll think about it. It's overrated in my opinion except for the tax breaks.
Want to have children? :::No
Think you're a health freak? :::No, but I drink a lot of water
Get along with your parents :::Of course
Get along with your siblings? :::Very well now! When I was 8 not so much.
Think you're popular :::Everyone likes me! :)
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state :::Yes, to Seattle and Chicago
Drank alchohal :::Of course
Smoke :::Nope
Get high :::Nope
Done any drugs :::Nope
Eaten an entire box of oreos :::Never have
Been on stage :::Nope
Gone skinny dipping :::Nope
Been dumped :::Nope
Dyed your hair :::Nope
Stolen anything :::Nope
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest :::Sue
Loudest :::Sue
Most shy :::Patty
Blondest :::Sue
Smartest :::Scott
Kindest :::Scott
Best personality :::These are hard...
Most talented :::Hmmm...
Best singer :::They are all tone deaf
Most ghetto :::Oprah..only she don't know we friends. Word.
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :::Sue/Kyle/Matt
Pain in the ass :::All of them sometimes
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):::I plead the fifth
Funniest :::Matt
Best person for advice :::I don't ask advice
Dependable :::Sue
Trustworthy :::Patty
Druggie :::Are the cops reading this?
Most likely to end up in jail :::Who cares..I'll still visit them.
Person you've known the longest :::Ryan
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream :::No idea...
Last nightmare :::No idea...
Car ride :::To work and back
Last time you cried :::Probably watching Oprah
Last movie seen :::The Queen
Last movie rented :::Six Feet Under
Last book read :::Reading it still... Possible Side Effects
Last word said :::I have no idea.
Last curse word said :::Fuck
Last time you laugh :::Just now
Last phone call :::Scott
Last CD played :::John Legend
Last song you listened to :::How the fuck are you supposed to remember all this shit!
Last annoyance :::This survey
Last IM :::Scott yesterday
Last weird encounter :::No idea
Last person you hugged :::Scott
Last person you yelled at :::Scott
Last time you wore a skirt :::Never
Last time you've been evil :::Everyday :)
Sarcastic? :::Incredibly
Last time you fought with your parents :::Years
Last time you wished upon a star :::Never
Played Truth or Dare :::Yes, when I was like 10
Spent quality time alone :::Try to....then the phone rings
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM :::No
Do you feel lonely :::No
Ever TP'd someone's house :::Yes, many times
How about egging someone's house :::Of course
Do you not like dislike not like me? :::WTF?!?!
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :::Eminem is better
Yo Momma :::What about her?
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :::No, but a horse maybe
What do you think of George Bush? :::Lame as Mutha F*ker screwing the world up one dying soldier at a time.
Any secret fetishes? :::Of course!
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :::I don't believe so...but I do like the smell of leather
How many languages do you speak? :::One and a half
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :::Nah
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) :::Yes Sir!

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